A DISGRACED PASTOR, PITT- JOLIE-ANISTON, AND HUMAN SEXUALITY

Some weeks ago a pastor in Asaba, Delta State was caught having sex with a married female member of his church. He was stripped and made to parade the streets carrying his church banner. Now some of us might be yawning and saying –‘so what’s new’? while others may have executed judgement on the pastor in particular and on men of God in general. But before we dismiss the incident as just one of those things, we will do well to extract lessons from it.

It is imperative that we all keep in mind the fact that people get sexually attracted to other people for different reasons, top reasons being physical attractiveness, charisma, money, power and influence. But many times, we subconsciously think that beauty is the main reason for sexual attraction and forget the other factors. If you have charisma or wield influence in any way, such as by being one of the leaders in a religious or business organization, or if you are a success in one endeavour or another, or if you seem to be unattainable [e.g you’re married, in a committed relationship, etc], then you must know that there is at least one person out there [apart from your beloved] who is sexually attracted to you, if not a legion of people. Success is sexy and to think otherwise is to engage in self deception.

So what does this mean for readers out there who suspect, or know, that someone has ‘the hots for them’? Well…nothing, if you don’t have a reputation to guard or a relationship to protect. But if you do think that something inappropriate is [almost] happening between yourself and someone else who is not your beloved, and you cherish your reputation, your relationships and your followership, then you will do all in your power to make sure that you do not engage in an activity that will see you one day on the streets of Asaba parading naked for your followers and family to see. You will take proactive measures to make sure you don’t ‘find yourself by yourself, with your hands up’ as Tuface Idibia once sang.

 I will not try to prescribe what to do or what not to do, but I will say this: For those who care about their marital relationship and who pray never to indulge in adultery, please pray on, but also keep in mind the fact that self deception is at the root of most adulterous affairs, that is, a refusal to admit the fact that we are all weak human beings at the core and no one is superhuman no matter how highly placed they may be. It is also the refusal to admit that one could easily be attracted to another human being who is not their spouse, given the right place, time and circumstances.

A case in point- They usually say that actors & actresses who engage in French kissing and sexual activity during filming are just being professional-there is nothing to it, everything ends after the acting. Well, I used to believe this too... until Brad Pitt kissed Angelina Jolie in the movie ‘Mr and Mrs Smith’ and Jennifer Aniston [his wife then] became toast... then I realised: we all, including actors and actresses, are human. Each time a man kisses a woman who is not his wife, even if they claim to be acting, we could just be seeing the next Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie- and wifey at home just may be the next Jennifer Aniston. So, you don’t want to be the next Asaba pastor or be involved in a sort of Pitt-Jolie-Aniston triangle? Then (1) Be honest with yourself (2) Be honest with your spouse and let him/her know when that lady-in-red or man-in-tuxedo gives you even as little as a wink.

I am Lauretta Ani, and I’m just keeping it real.