A THOUGHT TO PONDER....

Question to consider: Are you someone who says 'it's impossible', or are you someone who gets the 'impossible' done while others watch?

TIPS FOR HANDLING BED WETTING........

Hello people. This is an article I wrote first on Linkedln and which was afterwards published by School Tips& More magazine, a foremost magazine for parents and educators from EduMark publications. It is also online at www.allaboutschoolsng.com   Read and enjoy.

 Bed wetting is a condition in which a person urinates on the bed while asleep, and it becomes a cause for concern for parents when the child involved is over seven years of age. Many parents do not know how to cope with the fact that their teenager is still bed wetting, and so they resort to all sorts of methods, both helpful and non-helpful, to help their child overcome it. Consider the case of  fourteen year old Emily whose guardian threatened to give her fourteen strokes of the cane each time she bed wets, or twelve year old Pita who was taken to various pastors to 'deliver' her from the 'spirit of bed-wetting'. After all is said and done, however, understanding is key when handling a bed-wetting teenager.
The first step in treating bed wetting is to try to understand what the causes of bed wetting are.

Causes of bed wetting

Not all the causes of bed wetting are known.
Some of the possible factors are:
o                  Genetic tendency. If one or both parents wet the bed when they were children, then it is quite likely to occur in their children.
o                  Lack of necessary muscle and nerve control. The bladder may not have developed the necessary nerve and muscle control, so the bladder muscle contracts and empties the bladder when it is only half full of urine.
o                  Deep sleeper who finds it difficult waking up at night. This is why some have dreams in which they see themselves going to the loo at night but wake up to find that they have wet the bed.
o                  Other problems like diabetes [which could make the kidneys produce more urine], can lead to bed wetting if the child does not have bladder control.

MANAGING BED WETTING IN TEENAGERS AND YOUNG ADULTS
WHAT NOT TO DO
Do not

• Flog
• Threaten
• Compare
• Tell all and sundry about it-it adds to the teen’s embarrassment-only those who need to know should know, and do not say it in the child’s presence.

The child already feels bad about the situation. Doing any of the above activities does not solve the problem, rather it only adds another problem: LOW SELF ESTEEM and A FEELING OF REJECTION
Treat a bed wetting teenager/young adult as you would treat a child with dyslexia. Show them how to manage and perhaps even outgrow it.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT A BED WETTING TEEN/ADOLESCENT

• Inform the child about the causes of bed wetting
• Eliminate foods and drinks after 7pm
• Wake the teen to go to toilet four hours after eating dinner, and four hours after the first toilet visit. Note that cold weather increases the chance of bed wetting, so the child should go to the toilet every 3 hours in cold season.
• Use of alarms, e.g the moisture alarm which rings when it detects urine, or a loud, shrill alarm across the bed that requires the child to get up and put it off. Alarms require patience and perseverance but research has proven them to be the most effective method of treatment.
• If possible, get the child a mattress with a mackintosh sewn around it, especially if the child is in the university. This will save him/her the embarrassment of having to explain their wet bed to their peers.
• For short sleepovers , the child can be given disposable absorbent underpants [sold in major supermarkets] to wear before putting on their pajamas to sleep.

Understanding is key in the handling of a bed wetting teen or adult, and if handled properly the child will outgrow it. Don’t put pressure on self or child.

ADVICE FROM SHAKESPEARE....

WHAT KILLS RELATIONSHIPS...

THE ANGELINA JOLIE-BRAD PITT DIVORCE: LESSONS FOR THE SINGLE AND MARRIED.

This week, the news about the divorce filed by Angelina Jolie against Brad Pitt broke on the Internet, with a lot of people expressing shock, hurt, surprise and disappointment. For the sake of readers who may not be familiar with one or both actors, here’s a brief description of what made them both famous.

BRAD PITT

Brad Pitt [full name: William Bradley Pitt], was born on December 18, 1963. His most famous films in the international market are Ocean’s Eleven, Ocean’s Twelve, Ocean’s Thirteen, Troy, and Mr and Mrs Smith [in which he co-starred with Angelina Jolie].

 At the time of filming Mr and Mrs Smith, Brad Pitt was married to Jennifer Aniston, but soon after meeting Angelina Jolie, he filed for divorce from Jennifer Aniston. Pitt and Aniston had been married for five years prior to the divorce. 

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston

ANGELINA JOLIE

Angelina Jolie was born on June 4, 1975. She rose to fame internationally with the film and video game Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. As a teenager, Jolie struggled with self- esteem issues and twice attempted suicide, albeit unsuccessfully. She was not on good terms with her actor father, Jon Voight, for a number of years until fairly recently, and this led to her dropping the name Voight in favour of her middle name, Jolie.  Angelina Jolie is also notorious for some bizarre acts like French-kissing her blood brother, James Haven, at the Oscar Awards in the year 2000 and wearing her then husband’s blood [Billy-Bob Thornton] on a vial around her neck.

Angelina kissing blood brother James Haven. After the public outcry they both denied that it was an incestuous kiss, saying that it was just an innocent one. 

Jolie and Thornton with blood vials around their necks

In 2005, the media was abuzz with stories of how she broke the marriage of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.  However, after getting married to Brad Pitt and having children [both biological and adopted], she became less known for bizarre actions and more widely known for humanitarian actions like helping refugees and advocating for children. She was named a UNHCR goodwill ambassador in 2001 for her work with refugees and was appointed a Special Envoy of UN High Commissioner for Refugees António Guterres in 2012. Angelina Jolie has received numerous awards for her humanitarian work with children and refugees.

Brad and Angie

Both Brad Pitt and Angelina have been named ‘sexiest man/woman in the world’ at one time or another in their lives and have continued to remain on the list of the World’s Most Beautiful People. Despite this seeming ‘plus’, Angelina recently filed for divorce from Brad stating irreconcilable differences. She also wants full physical custody of their 6 children, stating that Brad Pitt is too strict with the children [she has a laissez-faire approach to parenting]. She is also said to have hired a private investigator to determine if Brad Pitt cheated on her with his co-star in the 2016 film Allied, Marion Cotillard.

Brad Pitt and Marion Cotillard

LESSONS WE CAN LEARN FROM THE COUPLE:

1.    NOT ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD; MIND YOUR OWN MARRIAGE. Before now, some people held up the Pitt-Jolie marriage as a pedestal for their own marriage, not realising that all that glitters is not necessarily gold. Up until now most media houses have been publishing pictures about the couple gushing over each other, and I bet some people were probably thinking: ‘How I wish my husband was as hot as that man’ or ‘if my wife was as beautiful as that lady I would never cheat on her’. Such people never knew that things were falling apart at home. To this end, I would like to encourage everyone to appreciate their spouse or spouse-to-be regardless of how they look or who they are. Beauty or fame is never a guarantee for a lasting marriage, and to think otherwise is to delude oneself. Avoid comparing your marriage to other people’s marriage, remember: the grass is not always greener on the other side.

2.    ADMIRE BUT DON’T OBSESS:  While a few celebrities are worthy of emulation, many, unfortunately are poor role models, and to pattern one’s life after such poor models is like building one’s house on sand-it must surely crumble one day. This is not to say that Pitt-Jolie are good or poor role models but rather to make  the following point- it is not bad to admire a celebrity, but it is certainly suicidal to blindly pattern one’s life after a celebrity or another human being for that matter. It makes one susceptible to the same mistakes and failures of the admired personality. So, admire that celeb but do not pattern your life after him/her-you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes of their lives, and your favourite celeb today just may be going to jail or getting divorced tomorrow.

3.    BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU DO, BECAUSE WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND: It’s a bit strange that Angelina should feel bad about the fact that Brad may have cheated on her with another actress. Hello Angie: Brad cheated on his then-wife, Jennifer Aniston, with you; remember? Just a warning to all out there; be careful the kind of seed you sow. You reap what you sow, and what goes around comes around.

4.    WATCH WHO YOU TAKE ADVICE FROM: Care should be taken when deciding who to meet for advice concerning marriage, and exactly what advice should be carried out. That a couple is engaging in PDA [Public Display of Affection] does not necessarily mean that their marriage/relationship is going fine. Some couples who are presently smiling outwardly are inwardly signing divorce papers, so be careful not to be carried away by such. Imagine asking Jolie for marriage advice a month ago, only to hear a month later that she just signed divorce papers. What a joke! Some people give couples advice out of goodwill but some others, unfortunately, give terrible advice either out of ignorance, immaturity, or bad will. It is generally advised, where possible, to ask advice from a person or couple whose marriage you personally admire. Advice should also be asked from mature people who care about you and who have nothing to gain if you fail. It is also important to note that not all advice given to you needs to be taken by you. Some can be put into practice as told or tweaked a bit to fit your situation while others are best discarded. It’s left to you to make the final decision.

      I am Lauretta Ani, and I’m just keeping it real.

EIGHT HABITS TO PRACTISE EVERYDAY

BOOK REVIEW: REDEEMING LOVE

Redeeming love is a book by Francine Rivers and is based on the story of the prophet Hosea and his prostitute wife, Gomer.

In the beginning of the book, we are introduced to a girl called Sarah (later renamed Angel), who is forced into prostitution as a child under very tragic circumstances. Years later, she is noticed by a woman named Duchess who owns a brothel in a place called Pair-a-Dice. She recognizes Angel’s unusual beauty, gives her food and accommodation and eventually begins to sell her to the highest bidders, men who came to California to dig for gold.

Along comes the hero, Michael Hosea, a successful farmer out in the country. One day, he notices Angel strolling down the street with a man, Magowan, walking as her bodyguard. Michael hears God’s voice telling him that Angel is the one for him. He is however shocked to realize she is a prostitute, but eventually attempts to woo her unsuccessfully.

Angel and Magowan get into a big fight that almost results in Angel’s death. Angel’s friend, Lucy sends word to Michael to come and save Angel. The only way to do so is to marry Angel, who agrees to the marriage simply to escape. At first, their marriage is quite rocky as Angel has a lot of emotional and psychological baggage to deal with; in addition to the fact that she has no love for Michael. She repeatedly runs away from him but each time she runs, Michael goes in search of her and brings her back.

Eventually, she falls in love with Michael but feels unworthy of him, especially because she is not capable of bearing children anymore. She runs away from him for the last time so that he can feel free to marry their young and lovely neighbour Miriam, who Angel feels is perfect and deserving of Michael. All this while, Michael has repeatedly tried to teach Angel about God and His love, but Angel rejects his efforts. At her last attempt to leave Michael for good, one of the men from her past resurfaces and tries force her back to prostitution. She is miraculously rescued by a stranger and taken to the man’s home where she lives with his family for years. During that time, she gets to discover God personally and eventually opens a house for girls that have been into prostitution, but who wish to find a decent way of life.

Although Michael has been repeatedly urged to look for Angel by Miriam, the young girl Angel wanted Michael to marry, he declines, stating that this time Angel must make her own choice to stay or leave. Through the help of Miriam and Paul, Michael’s brother-in-law, Angel makes the tough decision to return to Michael. Michael is shocked to see her as it has been three years since she left him. They embrace and at that point she tells him her real name- Sarah. He is happy to hear that and they live together again. Seven years later, she gives birth to her first child.

 

Francine Rivers

There you have it, the story of Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.  So, what are my thoughts about Redeeming Love?  It is a splendid book; I give it 4.5 stars. I did feel it was a bit too long and it was beginning to drag just a little bit, but I loved it all the same, and I actually found myself weeping at certain points in the book, never mind that it’s pure fiction.

The book teaches a lot of things but the one major lesson that stands out for me is the fact that God would have us make Him the centre of our world. I think the book can be summarized in these words: ‘On Christ the solid rock I stand, every other ground is sinking sand’. Mama, Sarah’s mother, tried to get love from a man but unfortunately the man couldn’t love her satisfactorily. It is only when we have the right relationship with God that we can love healthily, and hopefully be loved in return.

I couldn’t also help but wonder, are there really men like Michael Hosea out in the world today? Well, maybe, but they are rare. It may be possible for a man to marry a known prostitute, but if she leaves him and goes back to her old ways, can he still take her back? Perhaps… if his name is Hosea.

It has been my pleasure writing this review, and I hope you enjoyed it.